i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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