If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
