Screwed.edu
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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