Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
