I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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