also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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