Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
