just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
