So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
