you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
