at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
