5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
