My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
