I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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