I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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