I'm laying in your front yard are you home
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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