It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
