belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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