why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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