shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
