if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
