she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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