you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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