Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
