Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
