"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
