Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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