Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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