You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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