I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
