btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
