Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
