hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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