Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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