Small penises have feelings too.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
