when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
