Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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