how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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