So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
