whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
