my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
