so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
