My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
