No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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