The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
