ya dads aren't the best wingmen
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
