I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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