Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
