I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
