What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
