Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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